Mike Cooper has been using a dirty brown towel for years.

He would have come back stronger if he purified himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka and followed Fred Smoot's rehab program.

A lesbian? Cool! How did you find us?

Mike Utley just wanted to teach him a lesson the old fashioned way.

Did his wrist tape make the handcuffs more or less comfortable? Click-CLACK.

I understand HL, just in the other camp. I used to be in a ff league and was content with finding out how I did in the Monday sports page and waiting for the guy who ran it to send an excel spreadsheet Tuesday morning. Now everything is now-now-now, paying for the online service, going to games and hearing some moron…

Highlifer - they are finally listening to the swelling crowd that says enough cluttering the screen with all that crap. Fantasy players with ADD can get their stats elsewhere - maybe in real time online, where you happen to be today.

No, but the first thing she was pimp Motorola's Razr phone. Come back from the break after she wins, she's talking into a gold razr (must have been important!). Then when Enberg asks a sappy question about her dad, he is on a black razr with a Motorola cap on his head. How pathetic.

He should have played ultimate frisbee - no ankle monitors in that crowd.

After four years in LA he has the gelmet look down. Now, if he could only manage to find the sun. The guy wears jerseys past junior high, thinks he invented poker, pimps Starbucks, likes wrestling, just now lauds The Wire and still manages to keep a photo of his wife off the interwebtube?

AOL? This is 2006.

Tim Krumrie is all broken up about this.

Major Applewhite preferred to put his tattoos in the Horns record book.

That sound you hear when buckling your kid's car seat?

How did they get that thing over to the stadium from Tommy Lee's dorm room?

Hunter Rodriguez? I'm confused.

Marinovich was available but the scouts couldn't find the methadone clinic.

For the love of George Thoroughgood, can somebody tell the Bengals fans that this is the pre-season.

Schilling was going to go with that one in 04 until FOX told him they couldn't work a heart monitor into the telecast.

Does this mean the grandpa of his host family found him on the lawn this morning?