This proves that nobody on the Hawks smokes any shake.

That sound you hear when they put the cuffs on:

Roger that Bootleg guy - apparently beating the same team 14 straight doesn't warrant mention since it was past the Mayflower kids' bedtime. Probably best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Apparently it is Lindsay Lohan's right boob that has a sarcasm detector

Get well soon Mark Mulder. Doesn't the NL have inferior hitters? All the best, Dan Haren

So, George Pilgrim Shelter isn't Italian or he's never had a 'stache?

Can't wait to see it wrapped in a Tostitos bag.

Come on now Paper Cut, Terrible Towel is Pittsburghian for jizz rag.

Wherever he may be, I am guessing that Mike Cooper has a terrible towel in his lap too.

The Deadspin commenter application:

years old. Super then.

At least the Ligues were 34 and 14 years for their Father/Son night in the clink.

Grey Goose? That guy has issues.

Hi, this is Scott, it was great meeting you last weekend. I would love

Screw the band, Nuke can just plow through the corn in his Porsche with Fishbone cranking out of the quadrophonic Blaupunkt.

That explains why my AAA calendar reminds me to be aware of

I'm neutral on Redick and he probably was enjoying a few pink cosmos,

This ranks just below the Curt Gowdy face as most disappointing

Quit screwing around and just give us Yao, Muresan, Bradley, Manute and

Rush, Larry Walker, cheap film-shooting locations and whores-a-plenty during the Detroit Super Bowl. That about covers it.