He is not a monster, just a man that really screwed up and has been paying in many ways.”

If we’re in the Matrix, why would we need lawyers? Or I guess the better question is, if this guy thinks we’re in the Matrix, what is his motivation for becoming a lawyer? To fight computer injustice?

Right?! When someone has a medical emergency, lay people don’t usually jump up and say, “I’ve been doing a lot of Web MDing lately! Let me have a go!”

You boys need anything while you’re here? Some reds? Yellows? Just got some purples in from Peru.

1900 House! And the father increasingly slipped into being a huge a-hole because of the extra privileges afforded him from the time. I remember that he had a sister in law who was done with everything. Basically, because she was older and unmarried, she couldn’t do anything without his permission and he sort of…

I loved that show. I remember the daughter and mother were having shortness of breath, and they brought in a doctor, and then it was just the corsets.

The dads always get weird!

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

Parenting is a continuous exercise in picking your battles.

He’s not natural in the pocket

So where was this guy’s lawsuit when the top managers were 80% male?

“I said forget debate prep. I mean, give me a break,” Trump said at one point.

“Do you really think that Hillary Clinton is debate-prepping for three or four days. Hillary Clinton is resting, okay?”

“huh, this was great, except it was a little too diverse.”

Attitudes like this are so fucking disconnected from reality. I have never once watched a film or tv show and thought “huh, this was great, except it was a little too diverse.” I cannot for the life of me understand why directors wouldn’t want to cater to (or at least pay lip service to) the 37% of America that…

HA! About six months ago my brother was at the house doing some work when my young son runs into the room with my pink vibrator rubbing it against his cheek, going “this feels great”! I screamed and it was so confusing (for son) and so fucking awkward for brother. DIED.

Well, if penises were not supposed to fly free, why did God give mine wings?

I’m totally reading every last post about this divorce, but is anyone else starting to hate themselves for it just a little?

Dude, if I were the poor sister I would tell bride sister to absolutely take rich sister’s money. Then we could split the cash to go do something awesome just the two of us. And if we’re feeling bitchy we could plaster pics all over Facebook of our great time together. We could even tag mean sister like, “Without Mary…

Can confirm, I’m out for two days solid every time I get a runny nose.