Every day is a beautiful day here in Thneedville!

Let me know when this sad Wolverine is available.

Before the pandemic, I was looking at buying a half or full side of beef from any of several local butcher shops. Some of them even offered meat lockers for storage. Then I lost my job very early on due to the economic hit and (per the economics of being poor) it was hard to justify laying out $1000+ for a freezer and…

NFL home teams are going to have to institute “free travel-size bottle of Preparation H night” for all the butthurt that’s going to happen.

The current favorite conspiracy among my most idiotic associates is that (I can hardly type it all out) the current vaccinations are a primer, setting your body up for when the second, actual virus is released (“key word released!”) and everyone who’s been vaccinated will drop dead in about two years.

Why? The…

For me: nothing. I have neither.

My face shape:  fat.  

You missed the old-personiest old person sport of them all:

Kroger bought Fred Meyer in 1998 (I worked at Freddy’s at the time). I doubt they’d rebrand at this point after so long, but who knows?  Maybe brand loyalty isn’t what it once was, and they’re going to do what Macy’s did to Bon Marche and squander all good will.  

This is going to make Bioshock look like a ‘90s dating game show.

Yesssss...excellent. Concentrate every super-rich asshole as much as possible. What could go wrong?

...probably best known for his series of golf instruction videos.  

“I deliberately entered a thread full of things I don’t like, and now I’m mad.  How could this be happening to me?”

Trump was a blip.  This is McConnell’s America.  

Yeaaaaaah, about that. This isn’t a blockbuster that I need to see on a big screen. I’m willing to bet I’ll be experiencing it a couple months later from my own couch, if at all.

This is just a stock image because I don’t take pictures of my food, but my go-to beef substitute is the simple portabella mushroom. I know it’s not groundbreaking or exotic by any stretch, but rilled, fried, with or without sauce, simply seasoned with salt and pepper, in a stroganoff...it’s all good.

I wasn’t around for this, dang it. If I was, I’d have gone with two 4th gen Dodge Grand Caravans.

OMG that’s him. Man, I am f’ing old.  Chris Farley memory incoming:

Walking is to Trump as reading is to Trump.