Not to mention twins with a fetish for Uncle Jesse.

The Olsen twins flag hunter green right.

I deleted my Facebook account today.

Bitch, did I stutter?!

You’re approaching this as if the goal of Russia’s government were to eliminate heroin addiction. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Four Pillars approach begins with the prevention of addiction; if you use methods proven NOT to prevent people from becoming addicted, you will start a Three Pillars cycle…

As always the activists inside Russia who are working to help people despite the political climate and real threats of being sanctioned or arrested are amazing.

I can’t think of a legit reason for my boyfriend to have my account and phone passwords. He has his own accounts and phone. Why would he need mine? Absent some actual suspicions about something, why would I demand that he give me his? I don’t believe that just because I’m part of a couple, I have to give up all…

Don Diaper | Sterling Pooper

At least we don’t have to initiate a conversation with the barista about race

It’s like that song lyric.

The best part is he’s pointing it out to Michelle but she is all: “Yeah. It’s a cute idea.. *shrug*” while the POTUS is doubled over dying. Such a dad. lol

it’s funny what people think of as the “shit” candy. I’d have been thrilled with jolly ranchers and blow pops. Less interested in: tootsie rolls, tootsie pops, hershey bars.

Wait. I think we’re all missing the best part about this: She described Donald Trump as “anti-#NeverTrump”.

I love how she referred to Trump as the “anti-#NeverTrump candidate.”

Too many angry birds upside the noggin I guess.

I know how you feel. A shampoo bottle leaned toward me once, mid day, mid week, when I was 25 or so. I know I saw that. I wasn’t asleep and I wasn’t on drugs. I know I saw that.

(To be clear, Collins is saying “You fuck” as in, “You are a fuck.” Not as in, “You fornicate.”)

I was believing you until the cat did what you asked it to, and now I know this can’t be true.

But...you didn’t leave her even after she scared you. 😭

Make a pentagram on your bathroom ceiling from a poultice of your own hair, a gallon of ram’s blood, and the livers of fifteen alcoholic chickens. Cover yourself in a thick layer of golden glitter while chanting that song from The Little Mermaid about Ariel wanting legs in Aramaic and boom, no more spirits.