It's... a parody?

If men could have babies, abortion would be state-funded and easy to get.

Good to know— you should be able to season over it.

I have one of those Rachael Ray pots too. It's great.

Yup. It's pretty easy.

I keep my countertop gadgets, except for my microwave and coffee maker and soda stream, in the cabinet over my fridge and haul them out when I need them. The kitchen aid lives on the bottom shelf of my nearby bar.

I love Lodge— also easy to find in thrift stores or to buy new. Skip preseasoned. Do you know how to season them?

so he smells like puppies and hot dude? Wow. They should bottle THAT.

I did not take my ex's name. I am taking my now-husband's. Didn't feel right the first time, felt pretty good the second, so I'm hoping I have this marriage thing down this time. I couldn't even tell you WHY I'm taking his name, except that I like being his wife and rather like his last name. And I'm actually…

I fall. A lot. But always in flats, nearly never in my sky-high stilettos. Same problem— toes busted from pointe shoes and, yanno, being a little clumsy.

there are tons of jewelers who advertise "we swear it will appraise for DOUBLE what you pay!"

I generally kind of like Family Guy (though admittedly I roll my eyes a lot). But this one, at the end, I looked at my husband and asked, "Where was the funny?" It was just depressing.

Excuse me. It's an SC. And it's a V8. *can't believe she researched this*

he needs to take a lesson from the Duggars. At least there's only one wife there.

Strapless doesn't even look good on everybody. I just wanted a dress with straps (o hai, big boobs) and had trouble finding one that had straps that weren't spaghetti. So I bought an off-the-rack gown at Bloomingdale's. And it was purple. And awesome. And I wore overpriced shoes purchased on eBay (so I guess I was…

It was hard enough to find a dress with straps that weren't just spaghetti-strap-afterthoughts. It's why I wore a purple ball gown instead of a traditional wedding dress.

they still SELL oakleys?

I think he's made a point that he bought that car used, yadda yadda, but if you want a convertible and you have 16 kids, maybe get one that ostensibly holds four? A Solara, for example. Or an Eos. Not an 18-miles-to-the-gallon 2-seat, 6-cylinder car that I wouldn't buy as a DINK. And I'm the queen of impracticality.

the soup (last time I was there it was broccoli, yum) saved my butt the last time I was flying while sick (and no, kids, I was not sick when I left, crept up on my during one of my legs— ugh). It was just what the doctor (google) ordered.

I travel, essentially, for a living and the day I discovered the Sky Club was the happiest day of my life. OK, maybe that's hyperbole, but it's pretty sweet. I've gotten to the point, though where I don't go there for the free booze or snacks... but for the outlets and peace and quiet. Oh, and the staff that has…