We don’t like April Fool’s jokes, but we do love dogs. So if we combine the two into something adorable...

Did you mean “flagrantly profiting” instead of “fragrantly profiting”? 

It seems like “taste” isn’t his forte.

Nope.

How about we not worry about the fucking Roe v Wade assholes and allow Chrissy to name him and call him her baby.

My exact comment. 

The county coroner needs to have their license revoked, fired, and charged with being an accessory to murder.

Ahem.

Slow down there Maestro, there’s a New Mexico?

LOL, my first thought too. I CHOSE this desert life, keep your city-dweller’s ass home. Choose your choice!

Stay the fuck out of New Mexico, you idiots.

So glad I live in Iowa. It’l be a LONG time before the idiots are clamoring to come here.

Presley literally - LITERALLY - has Cindy Crawford’s face. Mole and everything, they are identical. I would be in a coma!

And her writing is atrocious

Also that suit is not fucking coral. Coral is a shade with orange undertones. While JayZ is wrong that his suit is mauve, he’s at least right that his pink suit in toward the blue/violet side of the pink spectrum than the orange/peach.  Not enough to classify as a mauve, but miles away from coral.

I think you would quickly Bieber-ied by the rush of people doing the same thing.

Bieber. You know that little fuck doesn’t wipe down the equipment. 

If you’re going to say your stolen jewelry is worth $45,000, your stolen clothes should probably be “worth” more than $2,000.

“@VanessaCarlton I got my act together after fighting anorexia for years.”

I’m going to miss Drew Magary’s Hater’s Guide to the William Sonoma Catalogue.