I have no interest in any candidate who isn’t anything less than absolutely furious. We’re past respectful disagreement, that exit was a good 450 miles back.

Never have heroes you don't know personally.

I’m a single parent and I’m shunning any kind of romantic relationship. I realised the only time I wish I had someone else there were in situations where I needed a babysitter because I needed to run an errand and it would be inconvenient to bring my kid. Meanwhile, my friends are divorcing left and right after…

FUCK YES I would buy Ina Garten’s memoir.  Where the hell do I get on the waiting list?

Funny, they told me the opposite if i stopped holding my Marvel Comics in public i might get a girlfriend.

Right? 

Here’s the part Maine Coon that I adopted a few months ago but had to return because my other two cats hated him. I miss him.

Here’s the part Maine Coon that I adopted a few months ago but had to return because my other two cats hated him. I…

Recently, my job had an outing to the Museum of Tolerance for a teambuilding event (yes, my job kicks ass). We saw a Holocaust Survivor speak and he talked about how his father had been a successful enough soccer player to come to America, where the speaker’s brother was born. Because of that, during the Holocaust,…

Uh, excuse me, he is wearing glasses so im pretty sure he knows what he is talking about. 

Also Lizzo.

Can we throw Ramona and Teresa Juicebox in that mix?

Yes! The one with Kelly Clarkson is also really great.

Eyebrow pencil absolutely counts! I get what you mean about it not feeling like makeup though. I’m the same way about my mascara.

Well, since at the time he was 47 and she was 19, I’m hopeful his reaction today is more along the line of “Wow, I still got it...but, no.”

Seriously, she looks like she murdered a balloon animal and is wearing its hide.

Her look is so confusing!! I do feel bad saying it, but her makeup and hair always look so bad. Like someone went out of their way to make her look weird. I wonder if she insists on this look? So weird.

I thought they meant Jay-Z and Beyoncé.

Like she could.

Ab’sent

The best part of this write up is that they primarily identify Paltrow as the star of Shallow Hal.