If you have that horrible cold, yeah. Maybe just wear mittens or something while on the internet. And don’t do any math or play scrabble. I don’t understand why there is brain fog with it, but I had it, my husband had it, and I warned my pharmacist about it and he thanked me a week later.

TBH I have no idea why I read it all the way through. It was kind of like a car wreck.

I respect you so much, and would totally love an article on the high falalutin dating apps, but OMG this little nugget slays me:

No more Oreos before bedtime?

As a white woman:

JUST THAT ONE TIME IN WYOMING!

I will always wish I was at the table with those two.

Can we take a moment and objectify the brilliant Mr. Glover? That tuxedo was the perfect shade to complement his skin tone. Yum.

NO

My sense is that Stella will become known as Worst Manager Ever, giving life to the cry, “STELLA!!!!!!!!!”, in our brave new world.

You, sir/madam, don’t understand wtf you are talking about. It’s Mimi. This is nothing in Butterfly Land. Chill.

I’ve added not-getting-blind-ass-drunk to the things I really really would like to do, but am trying very very hard not to do. Things like eat a bag of “Natural” Cheetos, inhale any chocolate Ben&Jerry ice cream I can get my hands on, go bra-less in public, take up smoking full time, or telling people to fuck off and…

What does Valerie Jarrett drink? Gotta buy her a bottle.

I’m thinking this will eat up at least 3 episodes and wonder if I have the self-discipline to wait and watch them in a row in my pajamas with a bottle of champagne.

Awe, I miss COTD.

Precisely. I’ve practiced this for years, and I make a point of spending some time with the women I am so grateful I am not. Hear their story, if you have an extra 20, pass it on. I could be an old lady greeter at Walmart with just a couple strokes of bad luck. Let’s take care of each other.

I bow before your extensive historic trivia knowledge. Marry me and I can add my insane food knowledge to create a being who will be avoided at parties for one hundred years.

I have a game I play with myself. Whenever I think my life sucks balls, I recognize that I’m not the pregnant Ethiopian woman working at Walgreen’s on Christmas Eve nor am I trying to feed my kid(s) by working at Bombshell’s.

So I’m never going to dance again....

It’s been at Costco for at least 6 months now.