Those songs get snapped up by Budweiser and/or Dodge trucks.

Sorry, Seth Rogan. Your laugh makes me have warm squishy feelings.

No one has said this?????

Can they make movies without Morgan Freeman anymore? I thought some sort of law was passed or something.

RE dating a twice divorced middle aged cornball:

Your Lovely Lady Chunks.

I’ve been ignoring the whole shebang for eleventy million reasons including been-there-have-the-t-shirt, but Selma Blair? Connie Britton? Are they doing this for real or giggles? Because giggles I can totally get behind and fight to the death with my husband about watching it. Because I am deep down a trashy bitch.

Good times. Good good times.

If I see a female reporter doing an outdoor live shot in the winter without a hat, I think they are possibly vain and definitely foolish. If I see a male reporter doing an outdoor live shot in the winter without a hat, I think they are possibly vain and definitely foolish.

I’ll take that vision and make it my own, thank you. It replaces the montage of dipwads I have known over the years who luuuuuved them their Steely Dan.

They must be paying Miss Baldwin by the number of times she’s photographed rubbing up against that little dweeb. Also, she has the longest index finger I’ve ever seen, and I have really long fingers.

Honey, I can’t tell you how much I’ll miss you here until I’ve had mor champagne. I’ll come back and read this in a couple of bottles.

Worse than Big Bill? It’s all about perspective. The R’s have been so insistent that it’s no longer business as usual, and yet it’s darned close.

I’m so happy you’re going to join Mallory and Nicole!! You will be safe and loved there. Congratulations!

This is NOT a comment being made by an oldz, this is a comment by a person who used to drink so much Jager that they once woke up alone and face down on the floor mere inches from the corner of a glass coffee table:

For your sake, I hope not. That was the most fucked up family I’ve ever seen. When I sat my son down to tell him that I had broken up with the husband, his first question was “Do we have to see those people anymore?” And we never did.

My long ago and hopefully now deceased ex-husband faked pancreatic cancer when I threw him out for a gazillion good reasons. Every person we knew HATED me, and then when he didn’t seem to die or even be sick and they were suddenly missing drugs, money, and items of value, people started to realize they’d been had.

Well, that puts THAT song back in my head where it belongs. Sigh....

Does it make me a shallow person if my first reaction was “DID SHE CUT HER HAIR??????????????????????? NONONONONONONONOOOOOO!”

Keegan-Michael Key! Oh, and Rashida Jones! Put ‘em together and I’ve got a steady date in January!