The only way we will know if this is a true celebrity occurrence is if my 73 year old husband asks me if I’ve seen Bieber’s dick. I give it 24 hours.

omg I am anthropomorphing pigs. I am the worst.

Agreed. Among them, when is the next time Wendy Williams is going to do HSN, because I just might have to watch that. With wine.

I raced right over there myself and am mesmerized by this ornament. If I had the vaguest interest in WW or, I don’t know, something, I would have a hard time holding back from ordering this. Or this Wendy Williams Removable Feather Skirt. A removable skirt. Imagine that.

Darling, surely you know someone who works at a coffee house. Or know someone who is related to or knows someone who has access to Real Coffee. If my option was crime or Folgers, I would become the Mistress of Caffeine. Know me by my espresso mask.

I was surprised to see stars about this year old post, but your post says it all. Take all the pink money and put into research motherfuckers. It’s your mother, it’s your sister, your wife and daughters. Wearing pink shoes isn’t going to find a cure or even slow cancer down. We KNOW. Now let’s do something about it.…

No one has ever been able to prove they are not all the same person. BECAUSE THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON.

Oh, Chritter, how I love thee.

Here’s what you do: Always carry about $30 in 5-dollar bills in your wallet/purse/pocket. This way, you will always be able to delight the people who are making a fraction of what you make an hour with one or more 5-dollar bills to thank them for their service. No math required, just tuck those bills in with your…

It’s also rude to offer cocaine if there isn’t enough for everyone to have a good time. Like chewing gum.

You weren’t the only one. My mind skittered to every corner trying to recall some sort of Catholic relevance in Miss Day’s admirable career. She did love animals.

It’s all I can do not to send out an adoption notice to all my family and friends.

OK, this is all I needed. Presenting Louise, age 14 weeks,who stood in my driveway screaming for someone to feed her and take care of her horrible eye infection two weeks ago. She is healed, has gained a half pound, and is driving the other two cats insane. So precious. Yes, she is sleeping in a basket of clean…

So long, will read when I go to bed. Tears of joy. Congratulations.

Mr. Ranger has an unhealthy addiction to those folks. We know the UPS delivery woman by name. That said, here’s what he bought for me for my birthday coming up (for which he adorably forgets that I get the shipping confirmations):

It’s as if you are doing a favor for everyone when you pick out all the black jellybeans. At least that’s what I tell myself. It’s not at all like picking out all of the cashews in the mixed nuts.

Dear Miley,

Black jelly beans forevah!

And Mr. Ranger scoffs at my coffee snobbish because I CANNOT bring myself to drink that crap. *added to my folder of stuff I hate to prove I’m right*

Awww, I love good service industry bosses!