I love how Ted Cruz is put in the background with the interns and not even mentioned by name in the tweet.

“You are the biggest idiot on this thread.”

Rarely does one see a sentence that by its very posting immediately defeats its premise.

It’s true, Albert, you really are the price of shot.

And as everybody will point out, he’s a part of that Bonilla contract restructuring, so not only will they retire his number (they should anyway), they’ll probably include a plaque that says “SEE? SEE? With the money we saved that year, we were able to sign Mike Hampton, go to the WS and use the compensatory pick to…

Seconded. I loved the whole paragraph about this “lost Mets season that has been overtly dreamlike for months now”.

If I can do something that cool when I’m wearing pants that high, I’ll know I’ve lived my best life.

Bullshit: “You will never do another one of my matches,” This takes the cake. Its an official threat. The Umpires decision rules at the field. Full Stop.

To state he took the game away for Serena simply calling him a “thief” is uselessly out of context. Serena continually berated him at several different points of the match, including threatening his job and endlessly/aggressively demanding apologies. A game was not taken away because she called him a “thief”, that was …

Lauren,

Dude signed a $100 million contract but can't shell out $4 for some Coppertone.

Mmm. That’s good kinja.

I AM FUCKING HERE FOR THE COMMENTS IN THE GRAY!

On a positive note, Jimbo can now check off “seeing the Eiffel Tower” on his bucket list. 

2 men on the couch. 1 woman (the dog sitter) in the shower.
Sometimes Oreos aren’t the only things that are double stuffed.

Whose Disgusting Baseball Meme-stache Is This?

“I’m stockpiling weapons and ammo to fight against the government and troops that you have to make sure you stand for and show respect during the national anthem.”

 WHY WON’T LIBERALS SHARE THE TRUTH!

“Elon Musk Is Doubling Down on the Pedo Thing”

“Way too old for me.”

I have had a little rebellious hobby for years: every time I’m in a supermarket checkout line, I turn the top copy of the Enquirer over. Just doing my little part to prevent even the subliminal distribution of the messages on their trashy front page.