the engine will only last 31,000 miles.

holy fuck

Sounds like you need a shoulder to Chiron.

It’s an indie, kinda flew under the radar last year. Not surprised you haven’t heard of it.

This is beautiful!!! Please update if that cunt says anything else!!

^ Trump voter.

I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

The former are my parents. They were raised in the Deep South and my mother didn’t have indoor plumbing until she was a senior in High School — late 50's. Everything had to be COOKED, goddammit! Otherwise you might get sick.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

Ha! I FUCKING CALLED IT!

Jalop: “I hate lazy, boring automotive design. Make something interesting...”

That’s just journalist Clark Kent. Is he some kind of hero? I’ve never thought his Planet stuff was particularly heroic, so unless he has some kind of secret identity that nobody has told me about, I don’t see what you are getting at.

I am at the point where nothing about this mans lies are shocking. I am more shocked when things he says are actually true.

Yes, this 10,000-word profile of Tom Brady on a whole different website definitely proves that we at Deadspin are obsessed with Tom Brady.

My Dad wouldn’t vote for HRC because he was worried about how she would deal with North Korea. I do not see how this is better.

Wasn’t pills but yeah rough timing.

Despite this being 2017, it took me a minute to realize you meant the Secret Service and weren’t referring to the Nazi military group.

June. School birthday plus gifts spread out through the year. September birthdays (or any birthday near the first day of school) is just some irresponsible ejaculation.

Like. I fucking hate these people. I am pro-choice because I hope I never am in a situation where I want or need an abortion. Fuck this guy. Fuck him and everyone who thinks this way.