Um. where’s M’Baku when you need him

She looks like a combo of Melissa McCarthy and Danny Devito

“Racist Cat Jizz” The new title to my future spoken word album.

I’d take a McDonald’s break when Ariana Grande performs. But I’m sure the food at the repass is going to be banging.

I respectfully disagree with your assessment. The first three episodes were “eh” but by the 4th one. I saw why people liked it. But I look at Succession how I look at any show on Bravo. I guess I enjoy terrible rich people being terrible to other terrible rich people. 

La Croix is a nice breather between my whiskey neat drink orders.

I’ll take what I can get man.

As a Giants fan, I welcome all the shade, middle fingers and side-eyes to the Cowboys’ franchise.

I’m just not going to tell my mom.

That was tough to watch. Like I literally wanted to throw darts at my computer screen.

“Anyway, Warriors in four.”

I’ve spent my 35 years on earth never stepping foot in Chuck E Cheese. I was going to take my 8 yr old niece last month but she said the one near her house smells like pee.

Omg. That was insane. Was that in Brooklyn? I guess if that was then every white person would be arrested.

Omg...that woman!!!! She’s what happens when you spend all your time at The Loft.

Ya know, women who put leashes on their kids make me extremely uncomfortable. Don’t see me calling the cops on them.

Sometimes you play those bullies up in your head so much you turn them into monsters. This girl use to bully me in high school for being fat. I hated her..skinny cheerleader who looked like Vivica Fox. I swore the next time she would see me I would be skinny and successful. 13 years later I run into her..shes not…

“blue raspberry Now and Laters”

White characters on television can be complicated/annoying AF. We haven’t gotten to Hannah Horvath territory yet I guess. Which ya know, she was a terrible character.

Yeah. Same here. I’ve been struggling a lot with peoples critiques of Donald Glover/ his love life blah blah blah. Some of it feels a bit personal but yeah...I’ve been there. I was the weirdo black girl at my high school that NO BLACK DUDE was feeling. I liked Monty Python, punk music, and indie films. I seem to only…