I am a lifelong vegetarian, so I guess I will have to keep blaming mine on nylon underwear and dirty, dirty sex.

I want less attention for this woman and more attention for this lovely candle aficionado. He is so sweet.

People should have to reference the Tracy Ullman show before being allowed to purchase it.

I don't like Panera.

But, it's his blog. Literally. He is the only one who runs it and writes on it. I am pretty sure that gives him a place on it.

I don't suppose it's possible that the post was edited after I made this comment is it? Nope. That could not possibly have happened.

She's a dirty, dirty girl? I don't know.

I did not realize Jessica Biel pulled a David Cassidy. I can see a resemblance.

You know your life has hit an all time low when a guy who records episodes of The Price is Right on his phone feels justified in laughing at you.

with several of Hollywood's most awesome women: Amy Ryan, Naomi Watts, Andrea Riseborough, Zach Galifianakis, and Merritt Wever, among others.

That is so awful. I had no idea.

Oh no. How do you know all of this. Do you live with them?

Oh no. It's the kids save (no they don't) a marriage to a scumbag trope.

This was TELEVISED? Like their future giant headed children (sorry) can see it? I can't even fathom that. My mom had ED throughout my childhood, but it wasn't nationally televised.

Oh shit. That's heinous.

Encourages the ED?

Must get to the UK, where 17 hour erections aren't a concern.

She is a lollipop in human form.

I don't know. I don't even have a penis. I guess I just watch a lot of Viagra ads. Well, that's something for me to think about.

Who hasn't seen enough commercials to know "In the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury"?