Cocaine is awful. All it does is bring out everyone’s inner asshole while simultaneously making them think they are super-interesting. It’s the worst.

No, it’s real.

Notices when you vomit loudly out the car window.

Seeing as how this website did not exist in the 1970s, probably not.

I am both greedy for lunch and sex so you’ll have to be a bit more discerning in this. It’s not fair to part you with your lunch money if I’d happily have sex with just about anyone who makes me laugh.

Honorable mentions: Breckenridge, Dunkyn, Kai, Jaymes, Aeren, Xanthippe, Tymothee, Voldemort, Rokky, Coop3r, Flaxon and Cordell Broadus

“Kaeden, get over here!”

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

half the animals here wish it were the head of the person feeding them the watermelon

Fuck you, Garrett.

Venturas, ranked:

Great article. I used to have similar issues, but one of the things that has helped me is learning to step back and look at a situation dispassionately. I let myself feel whatever I am feeling - upset or offended, whatever, but I don’t act until I’ve had a chance to think calmly about the situation - especially at…

OMG YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS

Why are you playing videogames if you think story is the only thing of substance to be found?

Sounds very Orwellian/Clockwork Orange-y

Jordan than purchased the floundering Charlotte basketball team, achieved a little success, re-branded the franchise the beloved Hornets, got everyone excited for the 2014-15 season, and then ran them into to ground as one final piece of payback for Gill’s transgression.

This man bred three times.

Shout out to Tom for the sneaky burn at the end implying the Bulls would go down in 4 straight games in a playoff series.

Judging by the darkness, my best guess puts this sometime in the evening.