Thanks to a panel-wide misunderstanding of Asian geography and some nimble betting work, he won.

Do you know a lot of 13-16 year olds with the confidence and self-assurance to do something like that? Don’t be dense.

When Germans say “Hey, you’re going a little heavy on the nationalism there,” it’s time to take stock.

Of course, Kyrie thought he was speaking to a reporter from the Boston Rectangle.

The Civil Rights Act of 1917 really was a landmark piece of legislation now that I think about it.

I’m really bad at anagrams so i’m just gonna go with DAS FACE!

sadface?

97.6% of all football coaches have ‘punch-me’ faces. It’s one of the main qualifications for the job.

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

I have some words of advice to give to the horse. In times like this, look to the words of the wise prophet Soulja Boy and “Superman that hoe”.

Calm down, Megyn Kelly.

“My name spelled backwards is okenrub, because okenrub mah penis after I write these things.”

Sorry man. One day the Yankees’ ship will come in.

The shame is that he never even got onto the jersey.

That’s nothing, the Giants hold a AAA outfield meeting every game.

“Later, spotting a crowd of people, he said “What a crowd!” and “What a turnout!”

If McGregor could just figure out how to get the hydrogen and helium in his body to thermonuclearly fuse and hold together with his own gravity, he’s got a good shot at becoming a star.

It’s probably a good thing that the Royals aren’t scoring, lest we need more nobility that are all incest-y and such.

Can we just have the Indians and Astros play a best of 13 for the pennant? MUST we include a Yankees/Sawks or whatever emerges from the wild card cesspool?