Stop watching. It’s liberating. The game time is mostly filled with inaction and penalties anyway.

I’m so tired of Ben Roethlisberger trying to shove his shit down people’s throats.

“Maybe it’s just an unwritten rule.” Great, let’s make football more like baseball. We should check with Brian McCann to get final judgement on this.

This one’s going into the “took me a second” Hall of Fame.

Why the comma?

Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

football, the greatest sport in ‘Murica.

You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

Clear eyes, full hearts, fuck that guy, right?!

+1 Hammer

My apologies the mention of Labor Day upsets you so much. Please accept this gif of Rick Santorum making a wanking motion as an olive branch. I’m sure it’s more your speed.

How interesting that the team who tried to unionize beats the team from a school named after a racist robber baron on Labor Day weekend.

I hope other people get how clever your comment is. I really do.

It came out too dark! Breakfast is RUINED!

“I own all of Steve Winwood’s shit, how did you not know that about me?”

They call them scalpers to honor them.

My wife used to faht in her sleep.

Pheidippides nutz.

The team is now claiming it was an indirect attempt to honor the Native American tradition of bartering.

I am so sick of sporting events doubling as military propaganda. We don’t need military flyovers. We don’t need to salute veterans every game. We don’t need these absurd reunions with returning soldiers. We don’t even need the national anthem before every game. Enough is enough with this bullshit.