Ok, then how about this: Idris Elba is Mark May. Preszbilewski is Bill Simmons; Wendell Pierce as Wilbon, or in a fat(ter) suit, Whitlock, and 221 Freemont Towers as Curt Schilling.

Huh. I just assumed the ball was a bed and his celebration was foreshadowing.

Normally it's Scott Walker who frustrates Racine. If it's the kids she's worried about, just hire an Eau Claire and things should be Superior from here on out.

Tiger: "...spend time with the people that are important to me."

Gahhhhh this is so great. Refused. Walls of Jericho. BOLT THROWER.

You hacks whining about the "kids" being victims miss the point entirely. Because I am more perceptive than others (yes, you) my very first reaction upon hearing this story was deep, abiding concern for the real victims - the Terry Bradshaw's Shingles family. God speed TBS. God speed.

Browns Owner: What's with these pre-draft shenanigans I'm hearing about Kevin? It's getting some people in the league pretty upset.

Terrell Suggs tried to sell his tickets at face value which made the price plummet.

I can't wait until the Redskins make the superbowl. As it will indeed be interesting to see how many players sell their procured allotment of game tickets, to secondary and tertiary market representatives in hopes of turning over a profit, or worst case scenario - breaking even.
And then in some cases demanding the…

That's because you're an asshole. And not just an asshole, but also a complete moron without even the most limited logical reasoning skills.

Sad to hear this. But this is just the latest chapter in Juanita High's ongoing Football/Quidditch rivalry.

On the bright side, it looks like Soso Jamabo may have found that officially committed Asian girl he was looking for.

Right. And Tommy Wiseau always meant for The Room to be a "dark comedy."

We just found Rust Cole's burner.

They plan to limit the village to 55+ though, which explains why it's a two-bedroom apartment.

Miko: This is like putting these players through 2 car crashes a week! They don't care about the players, they care about the money!

I like how you repeated "exactly why" for emphasis. It really made your point.

Knight's coordinating supervisor, Ken, added, "yeah, he was that fucking guy... that fucking guy who wouldn't stop asking me what the damn frequency is..."

"He gave me a hard time about my contract. I was like, The fuck you doing? This is Peanuts."

"If they see you making decisions only in economic terms, they start to understand that and question what you're all about." — 21st Century America, in a nutshell.