@badhatharry: Hey, I'm not Hitler! I'm not killing *all* the monkeys, just the obnoxious ones. Friggin' howlers keep howlin' at me. Besides, I have no supporters (except Timmy, but I think he has...issues...he keeps trying to kill me in my sleep and I don't know why).

@Jen007: I reread the question.

@Behrditz: That's because Bouchart is watching you.

@VincentGrey: Dieting? Sounds positively horrible.

@badhatharry: It stains it invisible. Now Fourdragon is having trouble finding precisely *where* his bathtub is, so he's always putting his potatoes just to the right or just to the left of the invisible tub. Such a pain.

@Tony Bullard Jr: You could remove the autocorrection entirely, so that :) doesn't change to anything else. Every font has colons and parentheses, so everybody will be able to see that, if not the dedicated "smiley" character.

@PN - gooapplesoft: Doctor? Actually, I went just last week. I had a "cold", if you know what I mean.

@PN - gooapplesoft: Pfft. Labor laws are for squares. That's why I have an army of five-year-olds building my latest invention: the zPhone. I pay them in hugs from their "mommies" (they're really just the Russian prostitutes I keep in my garage), and they in turn make me a lot of phones hella cheap!

@clearzero: I played Farmville for a while, because a bunch of my friends played it and thought it was fun. It was kinda fun, at first, because the thought of interacting with my friends through an agricultural simulator was a fun idea. Then, I realized that the game is really, really pointless. Right after that, I…

@Fenlain: "money to burn"

@daftrok: Wait...what is it that you get, exactly?

@Kaiser-Machead: I'm expecting that there may be fewer ads, perhaps only the little banners and the "This video brought to you by so-and-so" ads, instead of the commercial breaks.

@Dr.Blip: Ah; my mistake. I misinterpreted what you said.

@PoG: In my experience, I haven't encountered any other kind of racism.

@Dr.Blip: Well, that's kind of what you get when you buy *any* phone without a contract. If you get a Nexus One without a contract, it's $649. The Evo is $449.

I once went to a pretentious prep school that was devoted to being "tech-forward", but they could never do it right. Instead of getting the students something similar to this, they gave us (the 9th and 10th grade classes) $2,300 Dell Latitude XT tablets.

@PunkyChipsAhoy: It's not homoerotic if Kirby has no gender.

@hameed67: Made stupider by the fact that it's not a reader app, but just a standalone book. There aren't any more of them available, unless you purchase and install a whole other app.

@jetRink: One thing that I love about reading plain, no-pictures text is that my mind is able to inject sights and sounds and smells, and I sometimes forget that I'm reading a book, and not actively taking part in the story. You're right that all the bells and whistles simply detract from the overall experience,…

@monkey314159: Somebody nominate this guy for a Pulitzer already!