Damn it, here I was about to type something similar, thinking I was SO clever...

It’s scary shit. I’ve had seizures before, thankfully not for a couple years. The first time, I went status epilepticus, four of the fuckers in a row. I don’t remember any of it, thankfully, but I was on vacation out in Los Angeles out at a Power Rangers con. Somebody stuck their foot out to keep my head from hitting…

This new strength coach is diabolical.

Ironically, “suspended for a month” is what happens if I attempt even one pull-up.

As a fellow Broncos fan in Denver, gotta think it’s a non-issue. This came out a few days ago and people shrugged it off because he was never charged.

Unfortunately, my wife had a similar experience at Home Depot when she asked for black caulk.

You forgot Norm Green and Art Modell.

A corollary to the bluetooth speaker situation.

They probably ducked when they should have dodged.

Kids these days are so soft. Back in my day, you weren’t done in Oregon until you died of dysentery.

“a rookie who looks like the life guard you had a crush on that one summer”

It happens in a lot of families. Happened to me actually. You achieve some measure of success and the rest of your lazy, stupid, embittered family hates you for it.

True. So are the Bennetts. Christ - I’m sick of hearing about these assholes. As a Bears fan, I’m praying Matellus doesn’t do anything of note in the playoffs. Already pissing me off that that fuckhead might very well be a super bowl champion...

This also goes for their dipshit bandwagon fanbase

As it turns out, some of the materials used in the roof’s construction are bad for your health.

Czech yourself before you wreck yourself.

Looks like the gym Czech’ed itself in advance.

Again, are we sure the Seahawks aren’t just a bunch of assholes?

Man this sucks. Utah is a great team held back somewhat by constant injuries. I’m not even a Jazz fan, but I’m excited by how good this team could be if they could have a sustained period without injury. What a bummer.

He was sooo sleepy, but refused to go to sleep because we were eating dinner. He would not risk missing out on food.