Excellent point. The only way for Trump to be the smartest person in the room is to hire people who are profoundly and / or willfully ignorant.

Don’t worry, tonight Katrina Pierson will explain to us that Obama founded Al Quaeda, and actually piloted the planes that crashed into the towers (both of them).

Any sock that Bombas makes. (for this they want a specific, so the Calf sock will stay above your calf even if they are massive). I thought it was outrageous the price, until I started wearing them and wear after wear they are soft, cushioning and comfortable.

Any sock that Bombas makes. (for this they want a specific, so the Calf sock will stay above your calf even if they…

she’s a co-producer so I assumed she hired herself for the role and then Hollywood concurred.

ugh, you are insufferable

I think less of Karlie Kloss, who I otherwise totally love, because she hangs out with him.

Ben Affleck: “Yeah, Zack Snyder really wanted me to understand Bruce Wayne on a personal level. So one day, I walk onto set and... this was really funny... he had invited my parents down to do a set visit. They toured the set a little bit, met with the rest of the cast, and Snyder showed them some of the dailies that…

Seems to me they euthanized the wrong goddamn animal >:(

R.I.P., Samer’s dick.

When do you add in the tears? Somehow I always end up with extra whenever I do this.

To birth one asshole may be regarded as a misfortune (see Chet Haze and Tom Hanks); to birth two looks like bad parenting.

I’m ugly and poor but have a big dick.

As a gastroenterologist who has read Wheat Belly, sorry to let you know that it’s the worst kind of pseudoscience imaginable. Nothing in it is real for non-celiac patients. However, you’re not wrong. Cutting out wheat (and therefore lowering carb intake) will help most people lose weight and eat more protein,…

The streets are safe...but your secrets aren’t.

Yeah, let me bitch about the media through media because the words I spoke to media was understood for what they meant and relayed on media.

Is tom Hanks slowly morphing into a big toe? He kind of looks it in that screengrab.

No, just 2016, the Onion of years.

I’m a Bears fan and I still can’t help but love Aaron Rodgers. He does insane impossible things on the field, and is both decent and funny off of it.

I work at an office with this freakishly tall dude. I’m average height, so I thought it would be funny if I acted like we were in the same height category. This guy has never laughed at my joke, and I realized that it really bothered him. I’ve been doing this for two years just to see how long it takes for him to…