As a dad, I must find a way to work this terrible joke into conversation now.

Or maybe the wealthy professional football team he plays for could figure out a way to get its hands on one for him.

A team spokesperson noted that, for the Cardinals this season, Minegar’s was but the first of many wasted drives.

Enjoy your visit from the Secret Service.

If I never subscribe to the Athletic its simply because they don’t have a comment section for me to ruin.

Hopefully just a simple misunderstanding. I often mistakenly omit words from a text. It can cause problems if you’re meaning to text, “Show me your Beaver spirit!”

Its been my experience that nothing good ever happens when you wait until the last minute to start pulling things out.

He’s right about people in general, not just golfers. They don’t think ahead while in line. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a TSA security line and half the people walk up to the podium and only then start pulling out their ID and boarding pass. Or they don’t get out the credit card at the store until all…

Holy fuck! It’s way worse than I thought. He lost most of his legs and torso too!

But he stood on her throat and didn't kneel, right?

Came here for this.

Sturridge has chosen to go the “I’ll pay anything” approach. But I kinda wish he went all John Wick. It’s the off-season. He has time to go on a mission.

(bees swarm the comments section)

We have the classiest, most dignified, and humble presidents on the plant so it is safe to say that it all starts from the top! #MAGA #BESTPRESIDENTEVER #LOCKHERUP #NOWHITEHOUSEVISIT4LOSERS

(sound of crickets)

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

This is...    way too much information.

#BlackAndYellowLivesMatter

I’m surprised DJ Gay had time for an interview with all the gigs this month.