Arise love, and come share in the manufactured cheezy bounty. Let me bestow wet-naps to sooth your temporarily tainted, but not short or vulgar fingers.

I feel like I should bulk order cheddar popcorn for the debates right? So I can cackle and snack and then literally brush off that cheezy, grimy, layer of orangeness.

We need to make “Trumpster Fire” catch on.

What I find the most disturbing about TrumpsterFire is his sheer lack of intellectual curiosity. He literally takes pride in his ignorance and figures he can bluster his way through. People voting for him are essentially going to a surgeon who's training coasted of a few games of Operation.

......Sarah’s girls would mud-wrestle on the BBC to succeed him......

Did he circle the dollar amount on the checks in gold Sharpie?

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. FUCK THIS JACKASS.

I think the long, long, long honeymoon Trump has had with the press may finally be coming to an end. I don’t know why they thought this would turn out to be any different from Trump University, but here we are.

Ever since Christie claimed that Bon Jovi was better than Springsteen, New Jerseyans knew he was a soul in torment.

Great shade....she didn’t even try to hide that

I didn’t need all of those “RGIII knee explosion” replays, but I couldn’t get enough “Dan Snyder shitting his tighty whiteys in the owner’s booth” shots that accompanied it.

Before some assholes come in here and mansplain/whitesplain all over this, I just want to say I loved this essay.

Funny story: his birth name was Yu Jassole, but he Americanized it when he moved here from... Djibouti.

Is it even possible for Donald to answer a direct question and give a straight answer without a vague “I don’t know” “ I haven’t read” or “”I have to look at the fine print” and actually circle back and address the original point with a genuine answer?

This is unfair. I was led to believe that in the alternate universe I have clearly been transported to, all the evil politicians and their henchmen would have goatees.

Or they could hire Brad Ausmus away from the Tigers and have Hue, Lue and a Jew .

My conversation about homosexuality with my kids, then ages six and four, went like this:

First of all, white people, come get ya girl. Rap didn’t ask for this bullshit.

Hard Knocks, baby!

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. The greatest trick the Donald ever pulled was getting us to sympathize with a Fox News talking head.