Holy shit, that George Clooney joke was straight up brilliant.

I seriously bust out laughing so hard at the Clooney joke. So much better than the Cosby joke, which Fey already did on Weekend Update all those years ago. But the Cosby joke was about the courage in presenting it in the first place, so I'm totally behind that, too. :)

Either way, I'll be avoiding pigs in a blanket and Chex Mix for the foreseeable future.

There are two wonderful things happening here in this story:

Hm, not that impressive. Two better revenge stories:

But also like, almost everyone that goes on that show is asked to do 16 bars so why wouldn't you prepare? If you really cared about having credibility in the rap world (LOL, but whatever), you could at least make an effort to cheat and memorize some bars the night before.

Kreayshawn's pharmacist could beat Inkbox Andouille in a freestyle battle.

i have made it exactly 1 minute in. i have paused 4 times. i am paused now. it's already awks and i know that something even worse is coming

Oh god my mouth is permanently curled up from all the cringing.

I'm crying at my desk right now. "Iggy iggy bo biggy" got me weak as fuck.

interviewer: iggy give us a freestyle

My balls fit in a guy's mouth on the regular. They don't need that much room.

How could her being a nasty person explain his cheating? Her being a nasty person could explain why they might have gone to couple's counseling, or why they might have gotten separated. Her being a nasty person does not explain why he was cheating.

Day look for 2015: Sweatpants or pajama bottoms, tank top or thermal, fuzzy socks.

Might wanna channel all that blissful orgasmic energy into working on those empathy skills then.

...and I can't imagine being a giraffe. So?

You could also reenact Dante's Inferno in an Ikea.

ME!

I will be taking credit for Prince Eric, whom Kelly and I fought over like his was the last dick on earth. (And by that I mean we disagreed on what his penis looks like.)

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.