Or more terrifyingly, some sort of bee watchlist..

Kaboom!

Sounds like CNN has a real mess on its hands.

Whenever a new war is started by the U.S., all of the president’s children and nieces and nephews will be drafted and sent to the front lines.

Except you should then focus your harsh policies on the possible rapist, not his potential rapee

looks to be down 12 points or more in scrabble

You do realize that co-workers have, at times, dated one another without assaulting one another, yes?

A moment of silence for all the Raiderettes who must forgo P.F. Changs. You’ll have endless lettuce wraps in heaven, girls.

Lord and Miller shot first.

It’s also possible to be a believer in gun ownership and not be a member of the fascist cult that is the NRA, so I’m not feeling much sympathy for Killer Mike here.

But Johnny Football has been making the media rounds and taking responsibility for his past mistakes. Maybe when Kaepernick does the same and publicly says that he’s fine with police brutality and systemic racism then NFL teams might start to pay attention again.

Corner 3!!!

Don’t worry. Nobody will remember. This is Virginia’s year.

Yeah but Mario’s has more girth!

My trackpad wore out when I tried to scroll down to see how long this post is.

“And they were on the fence about getting Herschel Walker. Herschel fucking Walker! So I told them, this guy is a stud. A real beast. You get Herschel Walker and you aren’t going to win the Super Bowl. You are going to win several Super Bowls. Give whatever those morons in Dallas ask! Like they even know how to draft…

Never take credit for anything the Vikings do. It is the “invade Russia” of sports takes. It sounds like a great idea at the time, but in a few months you’re stuck outside, freezing, and wishing for death.

Vikings have a long tradition of marrying themselves to cousins.

You can believe several things at once. You can believe that police shouldn’t shoot innocent black men. You can believe that people, period, shouldn’t be shooting other people. You can believe that the Rodney King verdict, which influenced the verdict in the Simpson case, was a mockery of justice. You can also believe…

Or, and I know I’m being crazy here, you can stop giving a fuck about your apparent height.