This is not the pee tape you are looking for.

This is fantastic, as it demonstrates that PFT is a much better and funnier writer than anyone at Deadspin (well, maybe Drew. maybe)

how....how is that similar?

Damn! I was trying to make something out of “Holy Smokes!”

A reasonable LeBron > MJ argument can be made, although I wouldn’t agree with it.

Try it with cucumber soda. You’re welcome.

What about taters, did “taters mashed” make the list?

this is also a true statement if you replace “podcasts” with “articles”

Ignorant

not quite seeing how A means B here

and Seatt—oh, right, nevermind

It’s definitely a pet peeve when you tell a device to turn off, and the device says no. Whether this, or to install updates for 30 minutes, etc. One step closer to the machine apocalypse.

Except that Bon Jovi is the absolute worst of all of them.

don’t tell me what bad things I can’t imagine

Egg on its face, even.

Obviously he would have started at OSU, then transferred to Duke.

139 per wikipedia.

What about the brackets my wife and I used to name our children? Got a problem with those?

too soon