I had to get childcare too!! This guy lived a couple of hours away and so I never got the "I'm on my way!" message before our arranged date. Ugh! And then telling the babysitter "Nevermind, I got stood up." #maximumembarrassment

I'm the same way. Even if it isn't serious, I always get my feelings hurt so badly I'm just like "I'm done with people. They're the worst." I'm very sensitive and treating people like they don't matter/are disposable is so strange to me. And that's what this is. A complete disregard for other people and their…

I cried (I was super excited) and then I was done. I can't imagine going through that over and over again.

Ugh. The worst.

Me, 1 hour before our scheduled date and him going all day texting but not mentioning our date: "Are we going to hang out today?"

I also have this problem. I'm an obedient teenager in a funny fitting grown up suit.

It looks like this isn't her first rodeo because to me it looks like her breasts have scars similar to the gaping wound.

I'm Team #fourlegsgoodtwolegsbad. Is that a thing here? It needs to be a thing.

I see what you did there and I approve.

you win to me.

I'm not even that into cats, but I so love this story.

When I was a tiny nugget, it was my life's goal to be an organ grinder's monkey.

I was always swayed more towards the sassy/tacky retorts instead of diplomatic. Like for people staring: "I'd let you have the leftovers, but I doubt there will be any." Or for people being annoyed: "Call the police. I need a vacation." I never had anyone explicitly tell me I couldn't.

I don't really feel like I should have to work when I can just use these huge boobs and my baby canal to get a man to take care of me.

Well if you want to be so willfully obtuse that you get confused/look ridiculous, that's a choice you are making.

Apparently she doesn't or there wouldn't be a spreadsheet.

I have seriously been failing at online dating. I got "blown off" for 3 dates last week (!!!!!). I'm not even sure how that happens. We make plans, confirm plans, and the day of.... I text them and.... *crickets*. Last week was a big enough blow to my self-esteem that I'll probably just go adopt another puppy to adore…

All the Jenny Lewis. All of it.

I'm living for this album release right now.

I dry heaved at the pee towel so you win to me.