Not to brag or anything, but my dog already has her own REAL fur jacket.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble...

I’ve begged my boyfriend to let us go as the Sanitas chips girl and the Tapatio salsa guy (we eat a lot of Mexican food). He says no every year.

Literally the worst. Twisting a message of kindness and service to the less fortunate into "Fuck you, I got mine."

it me

How the hell has Subway not cleaned every store of every Jared image already? Like even if it was just sending out a big sticker of a meatball and telling employees to stick it over the face of every “Jared” they see?

that sounds really good. I’ma try it. Thank you! BTW, My wife and I rented out the Asian-fusion place we went to on our first date and we got the restaurant, food, service, open bar for $7,500.

Not to mention the knot’s $ vs $$ vs $$$ mean NOTHING. Some venues that were $$ cost more than the $$$ ones.

That’s so sad. For her taste buds. :(

YO ANY DUDES ON THIS THREAD WHO WANT TO FUCK A WEDDING PARTY MEMBER, READ THIS POST!!!

It was my friend’s wedding in Savannah. I was a bridesmaid. The groom’s brother went up to my room with me, to “put some wine bottles in the fridge”. Then, he did the best thing someone has ever done to me: he helped me take out ever single bobby pin from my updo and then massaged my scalp. . . .

When I was a kid we went to the wedding of someone on my mother’s side of the family. We never saw that side, so myself and my siblings only knew maybe 3 people in attendance. I think my sister was about 17 at the time. She had been making eyes at some random guy, and then they started hanging out on the dance floor.…

Say you have a friend named Reese.

Yay! I’m so glad someone saw! You now know before my parents <3

So, because I’m 5ever in the not-bolded section of Jez, I don’t expect people to see this...but I proposed to my then-boyfriend, now-fiance last night! On Tuesday we were lying in bed, had had a few drinks and he asked me what had been bothering me lately, and I said “Nothing, I’m just really happy right now”, but…

We decided to do anal one day and I had kind of felt like I needed to poop, but forgot about /ignored the feeling once we started messing around. We get a few pumps in and it goes from feeling great to feeling kind of funny. At first I wasn't sure what had happened because it wasn't like the poop came out of my butt,…

One time a boyfriend of mine was fingering my butt and I farted and it blasted his finger out of my b-hole. He thought it was hilarious. Sexy times continued.

I heard a story about a tinder hookup where one of the people let a huge stanky ass fart rip while some butt stuff was going down.

Fun fact: years ago when MTV spring break did "whipped cream" bikini contest they used shaving cream because real whipped cream melted and spoiled in the heat/sun.

Well, shower sex WAS one of mine, but after yesterday's guide I actually want to give it another go with some of those tips in mind. Soooo thanks, I guess.