Be brutal with unfollowing and unfriending. It is possible to cultivate the best aspects of it.

At this point I regularly question why I still haven’t quit Facebook. There is very little that I get out of it, and it seems to breed drama and resentment more and more. I have a few friends it’d be very difficult to keep in touch with otherwise, but I think perhaps it’s time to figure out how to do so.

Hair stylists always default to flat ironing my hair to finish it. They have never asked, it’s always just assumed. (I don’t care either way to be honest, it’s just interesting to me.)

Girl needs glasses. That level of squinting was outrageous. But the singing was magnificent.

If you click this link, you will see pictures of Jaden Smith making out with his girlfriend. Some of those pictures are of Jaden Smith’s tongue. Beware.

Thanks for ranting about a whole bunch of stuff that you apparently think I said. The point is this: lots of people are uncomfortable stepping on a scale for all sorts of reason and you have no idea what those reasons are. Your ‘just be comfortable with yourself fat or just lose weight’ comment is probably the least…

Thank you for sharing your story. When I was 9, and playing softball in little league, a girl on my team accused the coach of touching her inappropriately. Everyone accused the girl of lying, because her family was poor, and her dad was an alcoholic. My parents wouldn’t let me play with her anymore, and I can remember…

You should have reminded her before her second anniversary that brides have a year to write thank you notes for gifts given so if she wrote one ASAP she’d still be within the acceptable time period. Because that amount of awful requires some next-level snark in return.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck is the matter with that person? I hate that she did that to you.

What. The. Eff.

That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard and even better when you imagine the poor little sea cucumber as a character from Finding Nemo.

“BLAARRGGH oh oh GOD I’M SORRY but you know better than to sneak up on me like that! OH GOD NED, I’M SORRY”

Vomiting on command is the world’s worst superpower. It’s like you and the sea cucumber, who vomits its intestines onto things when it’s frightened.

when guys try to finger you like they are tenderizing a steak

Yes! What was in his pipe? This man is a true gem

This is such a me thing to do. 90 hours of work to do in a 40 hour week? Fuck it, let’s go take a smoke break outside for 45 minutes. Excuse me, did you just say that even though I can’t keep my head above water for 3 product lines, we will be adding a 4th next year with no additional staffing? Fuck it, I’m taking a…

I think we have found the perfect English example of “not giving a fuck.” Good show, old boy. Good show.

haircuts are a really easy way to help people who are in a tough place feel human again — for a while someone I knew organized a grant to pay for a barber to visit a local psych ward. once the patients (a lot of whom had been living on the streets) got a haircut and a shave, they felt better, participated more in…

I want to bottle up this gentleman’s chill. Smoke on, sir...

Ugh, him again? I thought we were over this dude like a year ago! Is this one of those “sponsored” stories? Also, side-eye to Ms Minaj for joining in. Gurl, you can do better!

Same. I feel like this is a popular option. I went with “a little off the top, though inreality its more like “a bunch off the bottom”