I knew I was going to regret watching that video.

OMG WORST NIGHTMARE OMG

Booooo no more robot mops to go with my new espresso maker. I’m not sure if Kinja deals saves me money or costs me money...

Booooo no more robot mops to go with my new espresso maker. I’m not sure if Kinja deals saves me money or costs me…

OMFG THEY CAN OPEN DOORS?!!

That’s a set up. Someone positioned that snake so it’s weight would press down on the door handle, et voilà! At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself. That’s an albino python; I know because we have a similarly large specimen at work. I do not want to believe that it can open doors. And slither up behind…

Right? Someone mentioned Virginia Woolf.

that’s some Sylvia Plath shit there.

“Good job”

I feel a little anxious about this one. Like, what if she didn’t turn back to shore?

I want the photos. I want the hair. I in particular want that blue dress. Now.

Cool. This is a great new nightmare for me to have. Thanks.

Not going to lie, that was genuinely fucking creepy. I love how the woman recording the video seems both proud and bored at the same time.

I am not going to view is video. I think I have seen this before. NOPE!!!

The market is dreadfully boring people who try to create the illusion of having an interesting, edgy personality by surrounding themselves with exotic possessions and/or creatures. To distract from how boring they are. In my experience, anyway. That’s who owns exotic pets.

he just needs someone to open the door, it’s not like he has arms.

The penis was sort of just hanging out in the middle of the hallway,” said Ethan Shear, a resident of the Rice lofts. “It had raised its head a little bit like you would see in Indiana Jones or something. Enough to know ‘I should not go near that.’”

Why can’t people be cooler and just say ‘Sup, cobra’ and let him live his hallway life?! Maybe he just locked himself out of his apartment!

I hear that Duchess! I break up with somebody they’re dead to me for 5 years minimum. When I close a door, I don’t just lock it — I brick it over.

Nooooooooo. Delete everything immediately. Texts, call history, voicemails, contact info, emails, online profile. That's the only way to go. Otherwise, one drinks a bottle of wine and texts to "see how you're doing?" Don't do that. Delete everything.

Me too! I want to go to his party. I like his style. I think i’ll theme my next party around bail bonds or multi level marketing schemes.