That gives me INSANE anxiety just to think about. Someone get me a paper bag.

Once upon a time, back when I thought marriage could be nifty, I tried to imagine who I'd invite to a wedding ceremony. I came up with 2 people. That's when I realized a wedding really wasn't for me.

This makes me want to rearrange other people's furniture while they are sleeping. Then laugh when they get out of bed and do a surprised swan dive onto a well-placed couch.

*Ducks head out from a snowy window*

Or, kids are weird and do weird shit like flop around on a sofa while their parents are busy talking, and the parents don't see it before the photographer does because they're busy talking to the president.

This makes me want to rearrange my furniture so I can do this at home when I'm bored/frustrated/tired/hungover.

YEAH SINGLE PEOPLE FOR THE WIN!!*

Look on the bright side; Statistically, neither can anybody else.

idk

I think the word you're looking for is "blessing"

yes. yes. yes.

My (now ex)boyfriend had pictures of all his ex-girlfriends. He'd trade pictures online, amateur shot for amateur shot; supposedly just of the ex that was actively trying to ruin his life, as she 'deserved it'. Call me crazy, but for some reason I didn't want him to take pictures of me. So he didn't...while I was…

<phew!>

That poor woman! She must feel so unsafe in her own space now. And knowing New York, she's probably had hell trying to find another space and is already sharing it with tons of other people.

Flavored vodka is gross to me. They're too sweet and I don't get the appeal. Plain vodka mixes easily with just about anything so if you don't like the taste just mix it with something that you do like.

I'll drink to that!

I'm saving myself for my manic pixie dream spring boyfriend. He's sprightly and mischievous, much like Puck. Must be 5' or under. (Some exceptions if you're 5'1", but you better be REALLY sprightly and mischievous.)