Don't tell Connor where to put his magic penis.

He did do something illegal when he used the police databases. Alongside his super-detailed fantasy plan, I can absolutely see where the state is coming from. It would appear to be a fantasy that is escalating into something more, which seems to me legitimate grounds for arresting and trying him. Now that he's…

You know it's a bad idea when the Simpsons parodied it 15 years ago.

Ahem.

Fine. But the time and place is not on my burger.

That's how I get through the tough times. It's all Matt Lauer's fault.

Helllllloo, Nurse!

November 22, the day of JFK's assassination. I don't get roped into much discussion, but it's always in the news that week.

I first read this as "libertarian" and was extremely confused.

Duh, because that would be gay.

Only if the Democrats aren't voting early.

Maybe. But it was raining all day. We might get lucky.

Come on, Nancy Drew? That's like, second to Gloria Steinem if you ignore the racism.

I was gonna say "get over it, bar brawls happen," but having a shoe literally stabbed into your flesh is seriously gross. Go forth and sue.

This year I'm going as gender-flipped Wonder Woman. I enjoy building furniture, Coca-Cola, and grad school.

SPOILER:

I wonder if cowboy boots are factored in or not.

This sounds like a hell designed for me personally. DTMFA

Do you also hate puppies and America?

Not at all. The Church has been down with Darwin and the BBT for decades.