Bending Steel had bending steel, but Football In a Groin had a football in a groin.

Dental dam... Lisa needs braces...

False. There were no highlights from that game.

enough said

This is the absolute first hold that wasn't called in the NFL.

Acquired Intense Dislike for Simmons

october 10 will just never be a fun day for me. i hate this day. real fans of magic johnson on nba countdown and that time he put in his resignation because bill simmons took over the show after wilbon left will know what i mean

Even weirder was that the next name drawn was also an explosion victim from New Mexico that was visiting an elderly person

The guy with the "crap on me" sign just misunderstood when he heard that Christian Ponder often shits the bed.

Move over Bison Dele- looks like Deadspin has a new favorite anchor!

I know everybody is thinking it, so I'll just say it: Ticket Oak is a fucking asshole.

"Yeah, well who's got more rings?"

This guy probably has a good blueprint on how to leave the U.S. Open early.

Jewish 'Bama fans: When we're not killing trees, we're nailing your saviour to them.

Given her history with major leaguers, I'm sure Alyssa Milano has blown a .341 at some point.

Skip Bayless grew up?

Skip Bayless also has a Tebow jar, but uses it for a different kind of deposit, knowwhatimean?

They chose a quarter based on Tebow's typical completion percentage.

You remember that game? Marion Fucking Barber had the two dumbest fucking plays I'd ever seen in the span of about 3 minutes. First, he runs out of bounds with about a minute left trying to eek out a 100 yard game for himself, when if he just falls down, the game is over. Then, the fucking Bears win the OT coin…

Jay Cutler's got very athletic feet. They're pretty underrated, actually.