We all agree with your boyfriend, most of us are just smart enough to shut up about it.

Don't get me wrong, I think Bill Murray is great and all, but basically his schtick has turned into "drunk old guy."

At this point I think if told people that Bill Murray drunkenly grabbed my balls at a bar in Brooklyn most people would probably believe me.

If Bill Murray was an accountant or something everyone would just think he's a drunk loser.

"What's so different about a dog attacking a child and a dog attacking a squirrel? "

18 year old women are teenage girls now? OK.

"I 100% guarantee you that Drew knows at least one couple who have some sort of non-monogamous relationship. "

Every now and then I think maybe I should get involved in youth sports. Then I realize I should not.

BRO R U A HOMOPHONE?

The ticket to a Mets game is only like $5 though.

fuck this doomsday machine i hate you

Mandatory class? Oh, fuck that!

Are you fucking retarded?

Yeah, he's not exactly the first Spanish speaking baseball player.

Anyone who truly thinks that renting your whole life is better than living in the same house for 30 years is a liar or an idiot.

Pretty sure he has still been "pouring water over his head" before games this year. He just sucks anyway.