We’re all so terrified that we’re parenting wrong that of course my first reaction to this was to get incredibly defensive that Anne was calling me a bad mom because I like to drink.

SHUT UP! I’m not crying, you are!

To send everyone into the weekend, here’s a little multiversal pick-me-up:

Please don’t call them “Pro Life.” They are anti choice/misogynists. 

Because he doesn’t think he’s REALLY done anything that wrong and thinks it is unfair he can’t perform

Thank you, Wende.

That’s the spirit! Somewhere to ditch the outdoor shoes and hang up the coats! I would also accept an enclosed breezeway between the garage and the house, if I had a garage.

Excuse me, Megan, but I live in rural New England, where most driveways are unpaved and mud season lasts well into June. I DO need a mudroom in the home of my dreams.

I had a Christmas pineapple at work last year. Mini ornaments hanging from the leaves and a glittery cardboard star on top, wearing sunglasses. I love tropical themed Christmas stuff, so I also made myself a flamingo stocking.

If I’m gunna do ball ornaments, they have to be glass. Plastic ones just don’t seem right. I also prefer white lights on the tree, so the colorful ornaments stand out.

Real trees are the only trees. “too many ornaments” is not a thing but they MUST be distributed properly by color/type. Cannot have snowflakes next to snowflakes, red next to red, etc. I do a lot of standing back and looking.

Awesome, they have an essential oil and wax melts too. Saved for my next round of candle making. 

Yes to the white lights! They are prettier, more magical, and throw off enough illumination that I can turn off all the other living room lights and it’s perfect. Colored Christmas lights are displeasing to my eyes.

Shiny, silver balls go deeper into the tree, closer to the trunk.  That way they reflect the light and make your tree look sparkly.  So many people only hang ornaments on the outer edges.  

The vintage of decorations. I won’t put anything up that was post-1970s, with my sweet spot in the 40s and 50s. I’ve spent years collecting old Putz houses, made-in-Japan figurines, Shiny Brite/Jewelbirte boxes and ornaments, and the like and anything manufactured now looks completely bizarre folded into these…

We have the lights with the colored bulbs that you could take off and rearrange and always end up spending at least an hour making sure that no bulbs of the same color are too close to one another.

I’m obsessed with even distribution without holes.

The lights on the tree must be the same color.  I cannot stand seeing the multi-colored strands on Christmas trees.  Let the ornaments be your variety, people!!

1. Start by procuring a real tree, preferably on Thanksgiving weekend
   

We have so many penguin decorations, and yet, I feel like we need more.