No, I mean literally. Props to Bauer are what got him in this mess.

Not that it matters, but off the top of my head if she’s a track runner, she may have gotten up early to get breakfast and then run before school, or vice versa. Or if this happened on the weekend she could be an early runner, or out with friends.

Right, that is the main concern. Not the assholes shooting up the joint.

I forgot; who is running for president in 2016?

Ashley, thank you.

As this was a game that made me angry for so many reasons, I was almost disgusted when the announcing team started pitching the vote for the new stadium and complaining what a shame it would be for San Diego not have a stadium.It did, however, lead to a great moment which I feel need to confirm as it felt so insane.

The real Skip Bayless is locked in a cell several hundred feet underground. There, his cruel captors siphon hot takes from his shattered mind 24 hours a day. Bayless huddles in the corner of his cell, naked but for a rough sackcloth and short length of hempen rope that he uses as a belt because it isn’t long enough to…

First reply! Remember when Brian Kelly killed that kid?

Always roll your R’s while pronouncing Greek names. That how they say em.

Okay, everyone, repeat after me...

Aahhh, aren’t you sweet. Thanks for thinking of me.

Except everyone can name a foreign leader trump admires.

Whereas Hillary could not only name every single sitting world leader, she could tell you what they had for breakfast, the name of their first pet, and what color underwear they’re wearing right now.*

White men fighting in Philly? Yawn.

Add it to the Pac-12 refs greatest hits. It’s becoming a fucking anthology...

“Worst people in the world, ranked” is an ideal Deadspin list.

White Silicon Valley Tech Millionaire Unaware He Is Already Part Of The American Elite

“in certain organizations and certain jobs you give up that right of your freedom of speech temporary [sic] while you serve that job”