I disagree. It’s adorable! A real kodiak moment.

A bear in your pool would really be a grisly discovery.

listen look it’s fine I’m sure we are going to be fine, what can go wrong??

Pete and Ariana seem like nice kids so I hope if (when) shit goes south it isn’t too rough for them.

Yeah, he’s in the same category for me as Bill Murray - the “Celebs That People Love But Are Actual Dickweeds In Real Life And I Can’t Understand Why Folks Like Them” category. Or, to make things easier, CTPLBAADIRLAICUWFLT.

How I met you and your husband numerous times but don’t remember.

I have never truly felt actively suicidal, but the closest I’ve felt is what you describe: “if I died in my sleep tonight I wouldn’t really care.”

I think about this everyday. On the outside I am a fairly successful attorney/writer working in nonprofit in DC. I volunteer, I went to law school as a second career late in life. I travel extensively and I’m a photographer who takes pretty good wildlife shots.

I have never seen this show but I just would like to say that if I died and the photo they chose to put by my casket was a selfie of me in a beanie in a car I would be LIIIIIIVID.

I just spit out my seltzer. Fucking hilarious. I don’t watch the show, but now it makes sense why Kate McKinnon was drinking a Jamba Juice on the Morning Joe sketch a couple weeks ago. LOL thanks for this! I needed a good laugh today.

She was on the phone ya say?

I liked this Drake saga back when it was “Billie Jean”

You know that if a big pharmaceutical company can dunk on you, you really screwed up.

True fact, ambien can make you do and say weird strange things.

Babe, the show is called Roseanne.

Well, how am I supposed to snort my cocaine? With dollar bills? Do you know how filthy those are? I care too much about my body to taint it in such a manner. 

That is funny that Amber Tamblyn has barred David Cross from using twitter. That seems sensible.

Yeah, that was my response, too.