Godspeed, and I’ll be at Wonkette next Monday.

I have so many questions, notably: how did she assemble the chicken stew there, or if she didn't, how did she transport it? How big a Crockpot are we talking here? Because mine holds like, a gallon, and the interior is heavy-ass ceramic.

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

Soon, we’ll be able to start tracking her movements. We can tag her, follow her by satellite, and monitor her migration patterns. We will learn how many are in her herd, and if they’re collecting the core materials of caramel to bring back to their home habitats.

“whom we all called Caramel Lady. ”

Ever met an Australian? I totally believe it.

so when the fifteen minutes was almost up and the woman started moaning like a porno starlet, the whole dining room could hear it even through doors and wall. There was a pretty unmistakable, “Oh God, I’m cumming” in there somewhere.