Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

The headline is a bit misleading. You should definitely experience living on your own in between living with roommates and living with a significant other.

Guys, don’t infuse mysticism into a religion based on a 2000 year old book about a man with magical powers and a sky man.

“Hand me the fucking keys you cocksucker, what da fuck?”

The burden of proof is put upon the victim and there’s often a bias toward innocence,

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

Omarosa begs the question: What in the holy hell did Michael Clark-Duncan see in her?

“Burnett likes to say that he ‘makes a picture’ instead of ‘takes a picture.’”

Differential includes acute floor magnetism and spontaneous mullet implosion

What a fucking shit this woman is.

Well...I guess CrossFit is better than ISIL, but don’t make me say it twice.

Counterpoint: Tandoori Chicken

Parts of the chicken, ranked:

How is wing formed? How Chicken get pragnent?

I love it when I learn that individuals who are funny/loud/outgoing, like Amy Schumer, are actually introverts. I am like this. When I am “on,” I can be the total life of the party and genuinely enjoy it, but I’m going to need like 3 days alone in the woods (just kidding, bugs are gross; please drop me off at the…

Seems like he was in denial.

I bet the Egyptian would have felt a more inclusive spirit if he were matched up against And Sasson.

Yes, he was a pathological liar who ruined the lives of many people (a masseuse, a reporter, several former teammates, a former teammate’swife) by going scorched earth.

Seems a little weird/creepy to me.