“185k mile turbo Volvo for $6500? Sounds like a good investment.” - Guy who bought Enron stock in late 2001, claiming “It’s gonna turn around any day now”

People who write See ID on the signature line and get pissy when you ask for ID are the worst.

When I worked in a theme park I was told not to say "your card is declined" because guest service or something, so I would say their cards ran out of magic, which would only confuse and piss them off more.

I legitimately was like WHO is that? Did not recogonize her at ALL

Hey, Texas. Abortions are a medical procedure. Medical waste is disposed of by incineration. If you know of a hospital or medical office that is "grinding and discharging into a sanitary sewer system" any of their medical waste, you need to investigate, fine, and possibly shut them down. If that is not the law in…

Dear old guy,

I’m imagining miniature funerals, with caskets the size of your thumb. Buried in tiny little graves with popsicle sticks as the tombstones.

Nice!

My trick is to have been born less than thirty years ago.

You make living sound like it sucks.

dumpster diving at its finest

When decades of “government is the problem” rhetoric, combined with virulent anti-intellectualism, combined with worship of business enterprise above social good, combined with continual stoking of racist, sexist, xenophobic fear and hatred all finally coalesce into the puffed-up tangerine spectre of Donald Trump—the…

He was married to a black woman, so unless he was living out some weird slaver fantasy, he’s not a conventional racist. I’d agree that he doesn’t “get” institutional racism, but he’s...well...complicated. I just can’t wrap my head around this guy. Sometimes he seems racist, sometimes not. I think he’s probably decent…

Whenever I’m fighting with my boyfriend I think of Long Ride Home by Patty Griffin.

which features Martellus saying that “NFL” stands for “Niggers For Lease”

You mean the US is abiding by the negotiation we struck with Iran to stop them from creating a nuclear weapon by paying them back for military equipment we never delivered? Since when has paying our debts a crime? If you ask me it is a small price to pay to improve peace in the middle east.

I really hate Jonah Hill. He is terribly unfunny and a shitty actor and not endearing at all because he comes across as horribly insincere. I really don’t like him.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.