Alfredo sauces can be more healthy if you make them yourself. Much of the cream can be replaced with starchy water from the pasta itself.

Just to be clear: Pat Summit, Muhammad Ali and Buddy Ryan are dead, but Skip Bayless is totally fine.

I like going to (old) people’s houses and removing Fox News from their channel lineups and then having them get incensed that their cable system dropped it.

Yeah, her fellow mediocre white women won’t like it. And there’s tons of those on Jezebel trying to reach Taylor Swift levels of financial success and attractiveness but they’re just a sea of unfulfilled Lena Dunham knockoffs.

Frances Bean Cobain has been married and divorced already?!?

Wino forever

So your ‘88 Sentra wouldn't start again this morning?

And he abhors manual labor.

I’d let Clarkson punch me in the face to have the old 3 back. He's pushing 60 and British, how bad could it hurt?

I gave my dog vaccines. He grew up never even learning to talk. He poops outside in public. He refuses to wear pants. He can’t read or write.

I'd be cool with them boycotting all public places tbh.

I stopped telling people that I’m a veteran (in real life, obviously.)

Nyet homo!

Ne pas homo, bro!

Now that you’ve said that I am 100% against it. If Darrell Issa said that TSA should not be allowed to put their fingers in our butts, I’d drop my pants and spread my cheeks at every security checkpoint just to make sure I am still opposed to everything Issa believes.

Well, human behavior isn't going to change, so instead of blaming passengers, TSA should adjust to reality. Plus, the recent huge spike in lines in Chicago (and then, after outcry, miraculous shortening), shows that TSA self-sabotage and general incompetence has a lot to do with the problems.

The government is run by anti-government types that constantly claim that the government is broken. Why else are the ATF, TSA, VA failures?

Seriously, I’d no idea this game was even associated with Black Culture, EVERYBODY played Spades in the military. Or least when I was in. I spent the better part of year in Korea drunk and/or playing Spades. I still remember my partner and my elaborate signaling system based on how we held the cards in our hands.…

You failed to add another important place Spades is played: anywhere there is downtime in the US Army, which is where this Caucasian learned how to play Spades (and Dominoes too, but Black Dominoes, not Latino Dominoes)

Working hard to secure contracts and obtain visas for Shell Oil?