“Henceforth, if you’re going to drunkenly beat the shit out of a woman, do it at a private residence that is not equipped with recording devices. We can make these issues go away as long as there isn’t video evidence. I suspect with this bar ban in effect, I’ll have to kick far fewer players off the team.”

They also considered instituting a ban on hitting women, but they didn't want to go overboard.

Well if you pay them enough sex workers will say anything, Senator.

CNN should be familiar with butt plugs and dildos, they employee Don Lemon and Anderson Cooper.

Yes, because I want to live in a country where if you destroy the economy as a fully grown adult, you get off scott-free but if you make a stupid mistake in high school, your entire life is ruined because you’re placed on the sex offender registry.

Does anyone feel its overblown to be talking about jail for this? Its a mistake on both the boys and girls part, but nothing to go to jail over, and certainly not anything to wind up on a sex offender list for.

*ROO FERRIGNO* this.

This scares the shit out of me. I have seen so many cases where people are exonerated for crimes they did not do only after spending 30 years in jail that it seriously scares me. This is a mild example of that, but they guy still could have spent a year in jail over something he did not do and because the arresting…

“We’re not in the business of wrongfully accusing anybody” except for the whole fact that you are since there was someone with video evidence that you repeatedly ignored until it hit public forums and got so big you could not ignore it anymore. This is disgraceful and people need to be fired.

Good job, Jalop team. Sad that it takes internet pressure to get the cops to admit a mistake.

The GOP has turned running for President into a crowdfunding scam...accept donations without any actual plans for (or realistic hope of) success.

From The Guardian article: “Unlike Hillary, I have actually accomplished something.”

Obviously Mayweather is afraid of strong, independent women that aren’t afraid to share their opinion. I’m a fan of both Michelle Beadle and Rachel Nichols and it would have been nice to hear the firsthand perspective of the fight from both of these women. I really hope that Manny Pacquiao really beats the shit out of…

Hey, your friendly neighborhood ex-bouncer and security person here.

everyone loves butts

Thank God someone finally called out Big Abortion and the massive for-profit women’s reproductive healthcare industrial complex—when will these women learn that abortions are only OK if you’re pressured into it by your married politician lover?

It visibly pains Brunell to recall all the time and effort he put into maintaining Mark Sanchez's balls during his last two years in the league.

He didn't even cry when he filed for Chapter 11.

Brunell was emotionally shaken up because he had just gotten off the phone with his accountant moments before the segment aired.