One of the Daily Show’s writing staffs’ finest creations

It’s kinda their signature piece, right?

Illegal immigrants? Hope Trump doesn’t find out!

What are you, some kinda anti-warmonger or something? (Me too)

They got out alive. Fuck the details

I have a disappointing edit button I’ll trade you for

I’d rather look at Amy Goodman’s legs or for that matter Bill Moyer’s legs just knowing there’s a human being with a heart and soul connected to them

Hey - we used to obey that rule until Dink Cheney came along..

I can tell you they never paint the line on the water. Probably so water skiers don’t trip over it

You are absolutely correct - they told us to co-operate.

When I am elected President, I am going to blame everything on my successor (or Millard Fillmore)

I work with several Persians and I would trust my life with them. Y’know the last group of folks I would trust with my life? - Fox News “Anchors”

We served with some yoinks (who were reservists and played sailor for two weeks a year) who informed us it was our job to die. (Thanks Capt. Obvious). Our response “Got a dime?” “Yeah, why?” “Why don’t you call someone who gives a shit”. “I’m gonna write you up” “Lucky for me you’re far too stupid to spell my name”.…

We can take up a donation - how much you need? (Assuming you would accept cash from a swabee)

Indeed

Threatening our oil, rubber and aluminum which is part of our freedom i suppose

Not in and of itself - tell me your thoughts on the subject...I’ll start with the premise that if wars solved anything, we would’ve had our last one hundreds of years ago

Megyn Kelly Class Death-Star Steve Doucy Nozzle Canoe?

You were in Gulf of Tonkin? If it weren’t for politicians, irrespective of party affiliation, there would be very few wars. Upon further reflection and a smoke break and another cup of coffee, perhaps I misunderstood your statement. What branch of the service were you in and when did you serve? If you answer that you…

Perhaps a “Nimitz-Class Douche Canoe”?