omg, those are brilliant! i’m totally doing one of these. i bet i could stuff the white fabric bubble with something instead of a frame. thank you!!!

so, the wife was not cool with stabbing but was ok with shovel beating? or perhaps i’ve misunderstood the “got in the way” part? what the hell was going on here? this story leaves me with many questions.

you’re really good at this, pie! i have to go as a turnip this year - any advice on making that one?

you’re out of your element, donny!

you got taylor swift tickets?

this is probably the only acceptable use of the word. good work.

i like commando tights because they have no waistband. i have yet to run a 3-year-old pair, despite working my tights hard. they’re pricier than my standard hues (which are also quite good), but way cheaper than the one pair of wolfords i bought and that ran while i was putting them on for the first time.

i like commando tights because they have no waistband. i have yet to run a 3-year-old pair, despite working my…

last paragraph is a+ work. nailed it.

i loved back-to-school, until i became a teacher.

i used completecase for my uncomplicated divorce. no property, no kids, no debts, no problems. initially i wanted a divorce attorney because i thought that meant i wouldn’t have to do any more than write a check. turns out, i would be paying at least $4000 just to have someone type up some documents, but all…

left eye: perfect

candy corn is very good, but these things are the bomb

my favorite dumb blonde joke response is from national treasure dolly parton. when asked if dumb blonde jokes bother her, dolly said, not at all. cause first, i know i’m not dumb, and second, i know i’m not blonde.

if you find one that works, do share!

my dermatologist said that lasers don’t work on facial hair, much to my dismay. said that facial hair growth is hormonal, and lasers won’t affect it. she suggested electrolysis instead for a permanent solution.

i had a pet bunny once, but he was more of a joe pesci type, what with the irrational anger and random physical attacks when food was being replenished.

definitely counts. my work husband also doubles as an on-site therapist.

cuomo is such a schmuck.

they have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought.

#2, especially. something about how it’s good for citizens to become involved in the political process.