"Maybe I'm naive and I'm going to go read a fairy tale after this."

So is rooting for Duke.

"You know what else is pretty un-American, coach? Making millions and millions of dollars from the talents of unpaid laborers."

Making millions and millions of dollars from the talents of unpaid laborers.

For someone who went to West Point, he sure has a hard time thinking about tanks.

Coach K's giving you the green light, Raptors.

"Great, all those American teams can eschew tanking. We have no problem, whatsoever."

Interestingly enough, if you combine Larry David and the young Alfred E. Neumann, you get a popular 1970s Knicks fan:

Larry David is the only one with the correct attitude for attending a Knicks game.

Field hockey? How could you leave out field hockey?!? IT'S PLAYED IN ADORABLE TARTAN SKIRTS, HELLO.

"No, sir. I just swallowed it."

Well the color scheme on that sign makes it pretty obvious where it was borrowed from

There's often thunder when I release my stool.

"These international communications are remarkably delicate. There is a ceremony and phrasing to every interaction that requires months of planning and strategy."

If my dog could talk, I'd probably just realize what a dumb bitch she is.

If you take a giant shit on an already heaping pile of shit, who are you to say your shit is holier than thou? When the line between two shits is indistinguishable, how are we to know that one shit is superior to another shit, one shit deserving of praise, another shit destined to be criticized for being shit. Can you…

But the mustache ride 5K is still going to happen right?

You'd think that the NCAA would reconsider, especially given that Rhodes was also in costume, as Napoleon Dynamite's brother Kip.

The race also violated BYU's honor code, as "fun" is in its name.

the Jaguars are Florida's top team. That's not a world I'm prepared to live in.