Because of Drew, I simply cannot read the word, 'Haughty' without it following, 'Dipshit.' Please correct.

"All the free Coke you would want" was also a key part of SMU's recruiting pitch in the `80s.

first of all, give YOU a season of EPL. ive crunched the numbers and 95% of soccer is kicking the ball back and forth in the neutral zone, players flopping on the ground, and refs being yelled at over penalty kicks. not one of those games is worth the shittiest half of an NFL game ever.

The Houston Texans have announced that Ricky Williams has been signed as a replacement for Cierre Wood.

Yo, San Francisco Philharmonic Orchestra, imma let you finish, but Kim Kardashian had one of the best marriages of all time, one of the best marriages of all timeeeee!!!

The proposal was very traditional, Kanye got down on one knee and Kim got down on two.

It sure was nice of Kim to give the AT&T Park staff the night off.

where the hell are psycho Dodgers fans when you need them.

It wouldn't help as much as you think, Josh Freeman still wouldn't be able to find an open receiver

With all these new QBs, Vikes sure need a Lake Minnetonka team building exercise.

The First Noel The Pelicans did say

Unfortunately such a sweet deal comes with a steep price: Ticket Oak gets to ravage your body for one (surprisingly sensuous) night.

You couldn't pay me $789.00 to spend three hours cooped up with that many Massholes.

I'm not partial to either team, so sell that! Pay your bills for the next month.

Eh, it's only a Cardinals game.

It's ironic - the good guy who died a couple of days ago is the Bum, but the bad guy who died today is your Bud.

Greatest moustache since Rollie Fingers or Sam Elliot.

All that's missing is a cigar being lit with a burning $100 bill.

I'm a Twins fan, so Leyland has destroyed my team over the past few years, but I've always liked him - the Tigers were always so classy, with their fans cheering for Jim Thome's 600th homer, and I wish that the Twins would fire Gardenhire and (now that he's sort of available) bring in Leyland to turn their ship…