I’m more confused about the corpse of Alastair Cooke Tweeting about things happening right now.

Twitter is a social media app whose purpose is to disrupt the employment of its users.

yeah i mean, look, i cant diagnose anyone but when i read comments like this i cant help but think about ‘more about alcoholism’ when bill describes the ways in which we tried to curb our drinking.

for the very large majority of us that have quit drinking, we tried cutting back a million times. very, very few people will go right to abstinence. if you’re an alcoholic you physically cant cut back

Elizabeth Warren is the biggest fucking fraud in American politics. She supports affirmative action but then exploits it as a privileged white person who pretended to be Native American to advance herself and stuff her pockets. She rails against Wall Street lenders exploiting under water mortgage holders but on the…

She followed that up by behaving exactly as a person who wants the VP job. I think it’s fair to speculate given that.

Everyone, everywhere always says they’re not interested in the position of VPOTUS. Until they take it.

Yeah. Lol. Never thought a wallet could look like that....

I didn’t know Georgia O’Keefe made wallets now.

oh....that’s....that’s a wallet

Miriam-Webster doesn’t acknowledge this bizarre, new injury definition, and neither should we.

*Shocking People Was Basically America’s Favorite Pastime in the 1920s

“Electrocute” means to kill someone with electricity. It’s a portmanteau of “electric” and “execute.”

Electrocute meas to kill with electricity.

(Peter Thiel, a Palantir cofounder, has admitted to bankrolling lawsuits against Gizmodo’s parent company Gawker Media in an effort to silence the company. Gizmodo began reporting on this story long before Thiel’s vendetta became known.)

Indeed, no amount of PSAs and notices on airline web pages are going to make people not be asshats in the security line. IT Security has to deal with the realities of human behavior ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

That’s not how hockey works at all!

DURRRR BUT VIDEO REVIEW OF GOALS WOULD RUIN THE FLOW OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME DURRRRRR

Ugh, yeah, we need a new category, instead of bridezilla, for brides who think they’re doing everything differently and aren’t. I was one of those (I like to think, to a slightly lesser degree, but perhaps not); I was all, I don’t want to make my bridesmaids buy new dresses! I don’t want them to exactly match! Just,…

Does Adam know this is a thing? Because he keeps writing like he has no idea!