There, there. We’ll get through this together. Have a mug of warm milk and curl up under this soft blanket.

You know what else is real, Yoko? The Oxford comma is real.

So I’ve had three kids and with each one I braced myself to finally see a “mucus plug.” I got to experience all sorts of other disgusting things but I’ve still never been able to wrap my mind around what a mucus plus is or looks like. There is no way I’m going to google a picture of it. Care to describe it?

Sometimes when I respond to work emails, there's nothing I want so much as to respond with a gif. I read too much Jezebel...

I always stick to the toilet seat, so matter how quickly I pee. No idea why, although this crippling humidity might be a reason...

The one good thing that's come out of Gawker closing is that I've discovered Drew Magary. This was a thing of beauty. I wish I didn't hate sports.

I just watched that entire clip..

Honestly, I'm so excited you've joined us here

I love dumb word fights! Bring it on!

You are not alone. I'm 100% there with you!

I think that I actually like other kids LESS now that I have my own. Other kids are annoying little jerks.

I read that about five times. I’m still too lazy to click on the link though.

I love knowing all this!

And they get huge. Right now we have a ton of young turkeys crashing through our yard, which is less daunting.

I'm happy to just have deer and turkeys.

I believe I’m in compliance now!

I just got a puppy. The flashlight app is now my most used app

Have you ever seen someone vomit immediately after eating too many deviled eggs? Is it yellow? Does it smell like deviled eggs? Honestly, I feel like vomiting just thinking about deviled eggs.

The cartoons of my childhood were MESSED UP. I hope I don’t have to rethink Chilly Willy the Penguin next.

OMG I LOVED Zork! I'm completely overwhelmed with nostalgia now. Also, I'm old.