That is the most amazing video I’ve seen all day, holy shit.

That’s not a picture of your nuts.

Wow, you put a lot of work into your posts, you could show Gawker/Jezz a thing or two.

They said he should work from home? How do you roll pork at home? I mean, I roll my own pork from time time in the privacy of my own home but it isn’t up to Case Pork Roll Co. standards by any means.

Demi Lovato flicked my vagina.

Do you seriously say “KYLE WAGNER” when answering the phone like a toddler in a pinstripe suit?

“Hanoi” Vivienne Westwood

You can always get another baby but a Pillow Cat is forever.

you are going to shit a cow over

Someone should flick Justin in the vagina.

There’s room to move as a fry cook. I could be manager in two years. King. God.

Did you brush our teeth with a bottle of of Jack?

I was born in 1966 and was obsessed with Charlie Brown when I was a kid, I could relate to him being a loner and being bullied by his friends. I also started reading Garfield from the beginning, I could really tell when it went from a Jim Davis only strip to the ‘team strip’ format.

What’s your view on cats?

I used to be a driver for strippers in Portland in the early 90’s, it got kinda boring after awhile. Sigh.

Didn’t Rocky eat an raw egg in the first Rocky movie?

How compliant would you be if an officer tried putting his hand up your ass...

Too soon for what? Did Bush die?

Ditch that zero and get yourself a hero, girlfriend! *SNAP*